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Questions I ask myself as I get older & older.......

February 8, 2017

I started using hearing aids a few months ago.  Now, my ears itch.  The inner ear.  I scratch them with q-tips.  I constantly think about the song "Beans in your ears".   REMEMBER?

 

If you examine a box of q-tips there are no pictures showing them used for cleaning ears.  How else would you did this?  Is there some government mandate that prevents q-tip from advertising their primary use? 

 

When I exercise I get my heart rate up and my blood is moving.  I am getting oxygen to my brain and everything is feeling good.  How come I yawn?

 

Sometimes I dream some pretty weird stuff.  I feel like Steven King.

 

I wake up several times at night.  Perhaps I should write down my Steven King dreams?

 

I wake up at night when I dream I have to go pee.

 

I had a triple bypass 5 years ago.  My cardiologist says I should not drink wine.  I need to find a new guy.

 

I am diabetic.  Only 1 type of alcohol does not convert to all sugar in my body.  Do you know what it is?

 

Ear Hair is the worst.

 

Talk about crazy.  My friend went to get a hair cut the other day.  He said the new barber's name was Herman.  I couldn't help thinking "Herman?"  "Herman Munster"  "Munster Cheese"  "I am the Cheese"  (a low budget movie from 1983)  "Cheese doodles".  I'm hungry.  Wonder if there's anything to eat at the barber shop.

 

Why in the world did the composers of these songs let TV advertisers ruin them for the rest of my life?  Anticipation.   I heard it through the grape vine.  I just can't get raisins & ketchup out of my mind when I hear them.  Poor Carly Simon.  All that money she got is probably long gone. 

 

Whatever happened to Killer Bees?

 

Does your chewing gum loose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

 

It's a proven fact bugs are attracted to light.  It's a proven fact that most all bugs cannot "see" yellow light.  That's why replacing outdoor light bulbs with yellow lights dramatically reduces the bugs that congregate outside your door.  Will someone please tell me why, when the morning light hits my bedroom windows, all those night bugs don't fly into the sun?

 

♪♪    My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea,  bring back, bring back, bring back my Bonnie to me.  ♪♪  When I was a child I hated this song.  I wonder if my Aunt Bonnie did as well?

 

Chanting "red rover, red rover, send [say your name here]  right over". 

Chanting "red rover, red rover, send Charlie right over".

Chanting "red rover, red rover, send Suzie right over".

Chanting "red rover, red rover, send Billy right over".

Chanting "red rover, red rover, send Carl right over".

Really?  I remember this as a violent game.  How about you?

 

Cowabunga Kemosabe:  Now there are 2 words you don't often hear in the same sentence. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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